There are times when I become overwhelmed by the evil that is in this world. When I begin to fear or turn away from God I read the verse below.
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
Jesus paid the heaviest price for us to be free from condemnation and seperation from Him. I am free. When things below try to constrain me, I am reminded of the precious blood of Jesus Christ shed for the whole world. He is in my heart to bring peace and strength in any situation. I am not alone. Nor will I ever be. Amen!
I realize I cannot achieve perfection. I strived to belong and be strong. On my own I could not stand. My flesh is weak and my thoughts hidden. If i say i'm without flaw I deceive myself. Even when i do good my thoughts glory in myself. I don’t care about being perfect. I can’t be! I care about serving and loving the Lord. I hope to serve and love others and walk in His will. Before I was saved it was the chasing of perfection that drove me to the edge. Jesus has been showing me that He loves me and will not forsake me. Nothing will seperate Him from His love toward me. He is patient and long-suffering. I find peace under His wings.
When I was closest to the version of what I believed to be societies standard of “perfect”, I found myself at the most shattered state. I was obsessed with fitting an impossible mould, because otherwise I would be rejected by the people who through my clouded vision appeared to ‘have it all together’. Maybe they do in the eyes of the world, but what is it to gain the world in spite of truth?
“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” (Mark 8:36)
Like a deer caught in headlights, I darted strait into a busy intersection. Not knowing if I would make it out. Unaware of the present danger. I praise Jesus that He snapped me out of those delusions!
Life these days has been a slow process of God unraveling my past and revealing where certain events have impacted me. I now move forward in His light. Not by any strength of my own, but by His sheer grace, mercy and comfort. Thankfully in the mean time He showers me in love so I can go through the day without falling apart.
This all may sound dramatic. It sure might come across that way…but I’m not afraid to pour out my weaknesses, which are made strong in God.
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
“But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;” (1 Corinthians 1:27)
“The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it. “ - George Orwell
I pondered the wonders of life. Seeking to belong to this web of something outside of myself. Inside a ticking hive of buzzing electronics and busy lives, I stand still and listen. I hear talk of peace. I see where that might be derived. Upon closer investigation, I back out of these lies. How can evil go unjustified? Justification is where evil is not forgotten. I praise God for His redemption.
Rest comes to my soul in the loving arms of Jesus Christ. My loneliness is filled with His peace. I am forgiven.
Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. (Colossians 3:2)
God sometimes catches me in the futile thinking of my flesh. He corrects me out of love, not to condemn me, but to remind me that my life is a mist.
When I began to fill my thoughts with the truth found in the Word of God, I learned that He has a different will for us being His beloved creations. It is beautiful how He loves His children. Each day is filled with new mercies, and my mind is being renewed. I feel the overwhelming love of Jesus in my heart. The holy Spirit is my guide in this world. I am travelling in the wilderness. Taking each step at a time. Growing in God’s grace. I’m not trying to win any race. I only hope in the salvation of Christ.
“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)
On my own I didn’t know I was loved. I felt lost in the fog of confusion found in darkness. Jesus is tenderly loving and healing my broken parts. The parts people, and myself had given up on long ago. He sees my heart. All the cracks and muck. He sees the potential in them where nobody else dared to endeavour.
It is difficult for me to trust people. I surrender to the one person I know I can truly trust. Jesus. He knows why I suffer with this. He’s seen it all. I often give so much of myself away and hide in the corner for fear of being hurt. Again I know there is no fear in love so that’s what I choose to remember.
“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
I trust that Jesus will provide His care, as He so faithfully does. It’s not even worth stepping far into my past to replay old memories. I’ve done that enough. It was that thinking which consumed me to the point of what seemed like permanent seperation from anything good.
It’s surreal to know the God of this universe desires to have a personal relationship with each and every single one of us. God is so good. I cling to His Word as if it is my very breath. I can only wonder and stand in awe of His greatness…